Stevieslaw: Republicans divided on how best to screw over the poor and unfortunate.

Republican legislators are at a crossroads in healthcare, with two very different plans offered up. The group led by Paul Ryan proposes to gut the ACA and replace it with meaningless incentives, while the group headed by Rand Paul hopes to completely torch the ACA and replace it with something really, really terrific as soon as hell freezes over.

“The two sides agree on only one thing,” said spokesperson Ian Heartles, “and that is the fundamental Republican tenet of feeding the rich by starving the poor.”

“Have no fear,” said Hartley, “If your life is hard because you are poor or unfortunate, I can assure you it will be much, much worse when we finish messing with the health care system.”