Stevieslaw: Trump to Extend Trip

Congressional Republicans have been feverishly working behind the scenes to extend President Trump’s overseas junket to more nations. In a joint news statement this morning, House leader Paul Ryan and Senate leader Mitch McConnell stated, “Working together with Rex Tillerson and the professionals at State, we were able to put together an extension of the President’s historic trip. Mr. Trump is now scheduled to visit all 196 countries in the world (including Taiwan).”
“For some of the poorer nations,” said Ryan, “The U.S. has agreed to build or extend airport runways to accommodate Air Force 1. We will also be taking reasonable precautions when the President is in a nation in the throes of a civil war, or an outbreak of one of many plagues. We are particularly concerned that the communication facilities are rudimentary in many of these nations.”
“Yes.” “Despite all our advanced work,” saId Mitch McConnell flashing his famous smile, “There may be times when the President is incommunicado for weeks and months at a time. We are encouraging the entire American News Media to travel with the President, to record this historical first for posterity.” said Ryan. “We will find a way to fund it.
“The President is scheduled to return to the United States some time in the evening on the 21st of January 2021,” continued Mr. McConnell.
“Sadly,” said Ryan, “We won’t have the time to send the President on a fact finding trip to Mars.” “Unless he is reelected,” concluded McConnell.