America
Today, we learned that Wayne LaPierre, of the NRA, will start a weekly syndicated column in over 200 newspapers. The column will most likely be called “Our thoughts and prayers,” and be presented alongside the column by Cal Thomas.
“We are only concerned,” said LaPierre spokesperson, Luna Tich,”that once a week will not be often enough.”
Stevie's Law 
Perhaps as a weekly feature in the column he could give the body count.
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Of course. What kind of American wouldn’t want the score.
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