Stevieslaw: Republican Courage

Led by a forward thinking Marco Rubio, Republicans will act on gun control in the next Congressional Session, whether or not the NRA is willing to go along.

Said Rubio spokesperson, Onth Taek, “The Senator believes he can find enough support in both the House and the Senate to raise the age at which you can buy a military grade assault weapon from 18 years old to 18 and 4 hours. A companion bill to force manufacturers to paint bump stocks a dayglow orange—to provide police marksmen with a better target, and to limit the amount of ammunition you can buy in a single visit to no more than you can carry out in a very large backpack, also has a reasonable chance of becoming law.”

“Of course the NRA is bound to object to such dramatic changes,” said Mr. Taek, “But, Republicans are willing to take them on in order to protect the citizens of this great nation.”

When questioned about the Republican plan to arm teachers and “harden” the schools, Onth said, “Marco feels this is a good start, but does not go far enough. He would also like to arm “very mature” 6th through 9th graders, as they are most likely to have initial contact with a heavily armed maniac.”