We are fast approaching a government shutdown, during which the only people whose lives will not be affected are those we elected to draw up, debate and pass a budget.  Ogden Nash had a lovely poem entitled, “It’s Always When for Professional Men.”  Too bad he’s not still around to add a verse or two about politicians.

The Republicans claim that the budget impasse is over spending and just spending, while the Democrats claim back that the impasse is over social programs, in particular, the Republican plan to cut funding for Planned Parenthood.  Since spending and social programs are spelled using many of the same letters, we thought there might be a language problem, so we sent Smokey Diamond, (Ph.D. lingcatstics) over to Capitol Hill to investigate. 

Smokey recorded the last, and shortest, session between Rep. John Boehner (Republican, Ohio) and Senator Harry Reid (Democrat, Nevada) as they made a last ditch effort to strike a deal.  The President, Barack Obama (Democrat, Kenya) was also present. Here it is:

Reid:  

Caesar ad sum iam forte

Brutus et erat

Caesar sic in omnibus

Brutus sic in at

Boehner:  Upidstay eastbay. Ixnay atthay. Etslay amscray.

Smokey, recognizing the problem immediately, turned to President Obama to provide mediation.  Obama smiled when he recognized the famous reporter and said politely, hubi, hubow ubare yubou?

Smokey sadly reports, “Negotiations are unlikely to produce a meaningful compromise in the near term.”

In other linguistic news, Donald Trump would like you not to remember that he told you Obama was not born in America.  Otgay atthay?