Cousin Myron after an interview with Kim Jong-un

In a Stevieslaw exclusive, we have learned that Cousin Myron has resigned from all of his board positions. These include the Presidencies of the Pitkin Avenue Merchants Association, The Brownsville Boys Club, and the Sutter Avenue Bowling League.   As you may recall, Myron, the red-headed idiot savant with a penchant for mathematics, made a very, very large amount of money by using a progressive betting scheme at several local race-tracks.  MSNBC, Fox News, and CNN will pose the question of Myron’s presidential candidacy, again and again and again, over the next few days.  CNN spokesperson, Natta Clew, confirmed that Myron was of interest as: “He has the resources, the terribly strong opinions, and the lack of experience needed for the race.”

Smokey Diamond, our long suffering reporter, put in a call this morning to Myron’s long-time spokeswoman and wife, Marsha, but she would only say, in conformity to her long standing policy, “pppffffffttttttttt.”