Stevieslaw: Tomorrrow’s Headlines Today-Our Irrepressible Job Creators

 

Michael Wines, of the New York Times, reported today that research has linked earthquakes outside of Youngstown to fracking near a fault in Ohio.  Earthquakes, as a possible consequence of fracking and its related waste disposal, have also been reported in Texas and Colorado.

We have learned that Bill B.B. Drill, spokesperson for BigFrack, will respond tomorrow with a comment entitled, “Fracking, faults and infrastructure, the case for job creation.” Drill spoke today with Smokey Diamond, our not so intrepid reporter who has confined herself to life in interior rooms of single story brick buildings.” “Smokey,” said Dr. Drill, “People like to pretend that the initiation of these earthquakes is necessarily a bad thing. But let’s face it, for many of our cities our buildings, bridges and infrastructure are already crumbling. A few good size earthquakes, which I think we can obtain by using even higher pressures to dispose of waste products, will bring the whole structure down. Think of the amount of jobs that will create.”

“In fact, continued Bill Drill, we considered this just the tip of the iceberg1. We predict that cleaning up in the aftermath of widespread fracking will require a huge commitment of resources and will create an unimaginable number of good American jobs for decades to come.”

1.An expression destined to disappear from the language.

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