Smokey Diamond is now wearing two hats, as she is retaining her position as chief correspondent for Stevieslaw while picking up the position of Spokesperson for the Myron for President Juggernaut.

“Cousin Myron,” she declared, “Is now searching high and low for a running mate.  In contrast to the choices made by the Republican Party in recent years, she continued, The Coz’s running mate must be sane and have a sense of humor. Cousin Myron is most interested in presenting a balanced ticket, and for that reason will be picking a running mate from The Bronx.  As you are all no doubt aware, Brooklyn and The Bronx are like two different countries—Bronx drivers are instantly lost in Brooklyn, as are Brooklyn drivers in The Bronx.”

Smokey said that the major problem she is having in vetting a Bronx running-mate is the language barrier, and she has been forced to hire a former Bronx resident as an interpreter.  “Bronx English and Brooklyn English are very, very different,” she admitted, “And many would say neither language resembles English.”

When asked by Fox News correspondent, Donna Getit, if anyone in the United States will be able to understand what the candidates are saying, Smokey replied, “Did you hear Saintly Santorum speak about the other Republican candidates yesterday? We can only hope the man will start speaking in a Martian dialect.”