Stevieslaw: Cousin Myron to Repurpose Holiday Gelt

Although you’d never know it from the feature article in the Sunday New York Times, the big campaign news is once again out of South Central Brooklyn. While the Times was busy speculating about how the Republican candidates for President would go about dividing up Romney’s billion dollar campaign network now that he is out of the race, Cousin Myron made a concrete announcement about financing. From a subway platform on Rockaway and Livonia Avenues, Cousin Myron said, “My mother has agreed to let me use my $35 in holiday money to help support an exploratory campaign lunch meeting at Katz’s Deli on the lower east side.” “Several cousins will be present,” he continued “but Marvin is the real funding problem.” “He’s been known to down 3 or 4 knishes at one sitting.”
Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, was able to track down Myron’s mother, who was very forthcoming. “I gave him money because he is so hard to shop for,” she said, “with the red hair and all.” “I was hoping he might buy a nice sweater,” she continued, “but it’s okay if he uses the money to buy his cousins a hot lunch.” “When he puts his mind to it,” she concluded, “Myron can be a real mensch.”

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