Stevieslaw: Trumped! Policy Statements from our Future President (1)
The Donald spokesperson, Ima N.T. Fired, said today that front-runner Trump has revised his immigration policy. “The Donald is quick on his feet,” noted Mr. Fired, and is willing to modify his program to conform to new information or to a new reality. In this case, he has come to realize that he will be unable to make Mexico—or as he calls it, that deadbeat nation, pay for the comprehensive fence he will build on the roughly 2000 mile U.S.- Mexican border. Instead, Mr. Trump will lease or purchase a strip of currently worthless property along the entire border, through his incredibly successful casino corporation.”
“The Donald will erect luxury housing and shops, casinos and tourist destinations all along the border. The side of the “wall” facing the U.S. will be luxury, luxury, luxury, as guaranteed by the famous Trump touch.”
“Imagine taking a high speed elevator up to roof level at the 37th floor, where you will have access to pool and cabana, fine dining, gambling and entertainment. Drink in hand, you turn to the South and drink in the abysmal poverty of our neighboring nation—the view alone worth the price of admission.”
N.T. conceded that cost considerations will ensure that the wall facing Mexico will be simple concrete and block, although The Donald has not ruled out selling the Mexicans some advertising space.”