Stevieslaw: Chris Christie to Resign
Did you wonder why the hulking, formidable form of Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey was standing behind the right shoulder of the presumptive nominee, Donald Trump through The Donald’s 3 hour victory ramble last night? We did.
It all became clear this morning at a hastily announced news conference, at which Christie announced he is stepping down as Governor of New Jersey to assume the role of head of security for the Trump campaign. Said Christie, “It’s a fancy title, but in reality I will be chief bouncer at the events. My job is to bust heads.”
Christy confided to our own Smokey Diamond that it had been his dream since childhood to move beyond verbal bullying to physical abuse. “I’ve been a bully since birth,” said Chris, “But, to have the opportunity to put on an orange “Trump Security,” shirt and stand on the podium with a nightstick and a Taser is priceless,” said a teary-eyed Christie. “I can’t wait to wade into a group of protesters,” he concluded.
Fox News praised the former governor and wished him well in his new role, which they noted, “is perfect for him.”