Stevieslaw: Trump Tweet Trashes Heliocentrism

Stevieslaw: Trump Tweet Trashes Heliocentrism.

Donald Trump today declared the earth does not revolve around the sun. Trump, cited as evidence the views of his poker buddy and friend Harvey Collins—“who is really a very, very smart guy.” Trump went on to clarify his position as, “My landslide victory has shown—really it was the hugest victory in the history of mankind, if you eliminate the phony, illegal votes for crooked HIllary, I am the center of the universe. And since I am on the earth, the heavenly bodies must revolve around the earth.”

A new survey released today by Gallup showed that the American public is sharply divided on the issue. Said, Tom Jones of Topeka, Kansas, “All you got to do is look up a few times during the day to see that the sun is moving around the earth.”

CNN will air a two hour debate around the raging controversy, which will pit Nobel Prize winning astrophysicists against members of the “Don’t Believe It Club.”The Don’t Believe It Club is a group of well-placed Republican politicians who don’t believe in evolution, climate change, or indeed in any idea introduced after the Reformation in the 16th Century. An interesting footnote to the debate is that many of these astrophysicists depend on members of the club for their funding.

Real time polls will decide which view prevails—and these polls could influence funding during the Trump administration. For example, Nate Silver is predicted (82% to 18%) that NASA will be defunded and eliminated. A warning shot in that direction was fired last week by Trump spokesperson, Eathel Bound, who said, “Anyone wanting to visit the heavens need go no farther than the top of Trump Tower in New York City.”

Advertisements
This entry was posted in gang gang dance, Humor, parody, sleepless in state college and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s