Stevieslaw: Donny, Andy and Freddy to write history

Posted on May 2, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump to fill gap in nation’s history
President Donald Trump tweeted early this morning that “there is no history of the civil war ever written—sad,” and vowed to fill in that embarrassing gap. Presidential spokesperson, Sean Spicer, resplendent in an authentic confederate battle uniform, informed the nation that the president would co-author a book about the Civil War with his friends Andrew Jackson and Frederick Douglass.
“Others will step forward to help,” Spicey assured the press. “For example,” he continued, “We are hoping to land Stonewall Jackson for battlefield color and Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lincoln for political analysis. No less an authority than Jeff Sessions, has agreed to write a section on the universal benefits of slavery.”
Rupert Murdoch has agreed to serialize and publish the book, which he envisions in an advanced “coloring book” format. “They are the hottest thing now,” said Murdoch, “and man will they ever sell.”
Trump told the nation, via tweet that “writing this important book will not impair my ability to president” and “after 100 days, I have the routine down—I can do it in my sleep.” Trump said he would write the books on weekends at his resort at Mar a Lago. “Only rainy weekends,” he was quick to clarify.
Sean Spicer concluded by pointing out that writing the definitive civil war history at Mar a Lago was hugely symbolic, because “as everyone knows, all the major battles of the war took place within ten or fifteen miles of the golf course—which is practically paved in spent cannon balls.”

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10 Responses to Stevieslaw: Donny, Andy and Freddy to write history

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    May 2, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    Revisionist history at its best!

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  2. stevieslaw says:
    May 2, 2017 at 11:49 pm

    Yes. I can’t wait to color outside the lines.

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