Stevieslaw: Pinkie Swear
While everyone was watching Donald Trump parade through Washington without any clothes on, House Republicans have been doing the heavy lifting of overturning all things Obama. This past week they voted to gut the Dodd-Frank Financial Regulations. The Republicans claim that the regulations are so onerous on the banks, that they are holding the economy back in its recovery from the Great Recession. You probably recall that the origin of the Great Recession resided principally in the greed of the large banks.
“That won’t happen again,” said Paul Ryan to our financial reporter, Smokey Diamond. “I demanded that each of the leaders of the major U.S. Banks come to my office and swear that they wouldn’t destroy the economy again.” “And, it wasn’t just any promise,” continued Ryan, “it was a pinkie promise.” “In fact, a full color photo of Jamie Dimon—Chairman of JPMorganChase, and me as we make a pinkie swear is available on my website.”
Stevieslaw is, unfortunately, not able to provide a definitive statement on what you should do with your pittance while waiting for the Greater Recession. Expert opinion differs strongly on whether it is best to hide it under the bed or to bury it under a rock. But, isn’t that the essence of modern Republicanism. You—and not your government, get to choose where to hide your remaining shekels from the banks they’ve allowed to come and to get it.