Stevieslaw: Tomorrow’s Headlines–NRA flies into the future.


Here at Stevieslaw, we hate to see articles in our local newspaper about gun control, as it always signals another victory for the gun lobby and the NRA.  Just today, there was a piece about new legislation in Pennsylvania forcing local municipalities to back off on some gun control rules they had recently instituted.

Still, we feel it is best to keep abreast of what the NRA is planning for our future freedom. To this end, we sent Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter into the heart of gun country to visit the NRA’s think tank and gun range, “Cracked Shot,” in Boise, ID.  Smokey was fully encased in body armor and had undergone thorough training for her trip. She was taught, for example, to avoid eye contact and to signal her intentions clearly; for example, simply saying “I am going to scratch my nose now” instead of just doing it could save her a final trip home in a body bag.

Diet L.I.K. Dagga, NRA spokesperson, was more than happy to clue Smokey into future developments.  “It’s simple,” he said, “Think drones. The NRA will be spending most of its research budget to investigate how laws across the nation have to change to accommodate the ability of the gun-toting public to own and operate drones.  Issues such as “perceived threat at an extended distance,” and a host of stand your ground rules must be carefully examined and strengthened to protect our 2nd amendment rights.”

“The good news, Smokey, is that John Q. Public will soon have an air force. When you have to venture forth, you will be protected by a threat sensitive, fully armed armada of personal drones.  That will make the bad guys back off—although probably not fast enough,” he concluded with a giggle.

“Now, why don’t you and I go down to the range and shoot something.”

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