Stevieslaw: So Help Me…
Our intrepid reporter, Smokey Diamond, learned today that a conference call among all the Republican candidates for President has led to an historic agreement. Donna R. Member, RNC spokesperson, explained.
“The candidates—including our front runner Donald Trump, all agreed to deny that George W. Bush was ever President of the United States. When faced with a question of leadership during the period 2000-2008, the candidates will resort to a blank stare and will change the subject to something more palatable like repealing Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood.”
“We will not lie to the people Smokey,” she continued, but much more important than the factual truth is the need for hardworkingamericans to be presented with a straightforward, linear narrative.” “They don’t have the time for an extensive study of history—or science for that matter.” “Our polling suggests that over time Americans will come to remember that Obama was driven to invade Iraq under pressure from Hilary Clinton and the Liberal wing of the party.” “He also precipitated the financial crisis, which Republicans have just managed to extract us from.” “Many Americans already believe these things to be true.”
“But how can you just deny his presidency,” stammered Smokey? “It’s like denying slavery ever existed in America.”
“Repeal Obamacare,” shouted Ms. Member, flashing a V for victory sign.