Author Archives: stevieslaw

Newsbriefs You May Have Missed: 1. God Quits

God quits over Israeli-Palestinian deadlock: Almighty God announced today that he is resigning from his role as master of the Universe, effective immediately, over the Israeli-Palestinian deadlock. God was quoted as saying, “I’m all powerful and all knowing, but I’m … Continue reading

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Good News on the Pakghanistan Border

Good News on the Afghan Border—Manpower will Triple I’m sure you are as inspired as I am about NY Times reporter, Michael Kamber’s article in the Sunday paper that describes how we are stepping up the fight on Afghan smuggling.  … Continue reading

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The Bureau of Afghan Relief Funding (BARF)

My Day at the Bureau of Afghan Relief Funding (BARF) A recent article by Brett Blackledge and Richard Lardner of the Associated Press detailed the controversy over Afghan Energy and Water Minister and former warlord, Ismail Khan.  Khan, well known … Continue reading

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Border Tactics—the rest of the story

U.S.  Adjusts Border Tactics—The Rest of the Story Anne Flaherty’s Associated Press piece, which appeared in yesterday’s paper was written in a code so transparent that the average four year old American could pull out the essentials.  In the first … Continue reading

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Taliban to run out of suicide bombers by 2036

Taliban to run out of suicide bombers by 2036 A recent article in the October 2020 issue of “The Science of Public Affairs,” presents a coherent, scientifically robust argument that the uprising in Pakghanistan must end by the early 2040’s.  … Continue reading

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Cousin Myron Aspires

My Cousin Myron Aspires It’s funny how things start.  I was talking with my cousin Myron last month, when out of the blue he says, “Whenever I go back to Brownsville it is as if I had never been away.” … Continue reading

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The Man in the Moon

The Man on the Moon   Ground control to major Tom Ground control to major Tom Take your protein pills and put your helmet on * We are not safe upon the surface of the far side of the moon. … Continue reading

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Why I am not a vacuum cleaner salesman

Why I am not a vacuum cleaner salesmana Some people sell vacuum cleaners, door to door. I do not.  I was out late last night, celebrating my 15th birthday with Richard Levine1.  We set all the garbage cans behind the … Continue reading

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Are You Jewish?

Are you Jewish? My mother has, on occasion, claimed that we are Jewish, but she has lied to me so many times over the course of the years—most recently, about the spelling of my own last name, that I’ve started … Continue reading

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The Android Dream of PKD

The Android Dream of PKD Not content to wait for last year, I claimed the solar lottery on page 63 of an old dog-eared Ace double, that had spent some serious time in someone’s tub. The shock, like a hit … Continue reading

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