Stevieslaw: Pruitt to rule EPA by the Book

Posted on November 2, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Pruitt to rule EPA by the Book.

I.C. Light, spokesperson for EPA Chief Scott Pruitt, told our own Smokey Diamond this morning that Mr. Pruitt will use the New Testament and the New Testament alone to guide the actions of the EPA.

“What is your so-called science worth?,” he asked. “When up against the beautiful simplicity of ‘What would Jesus say?’”

“For example,” continued Dr. Light, “Mr. Pruitt takes a biblical approach to the burning of fossil fuels.” “He is convinced, and all right-thinking people would certainly agree, that God would not have put coal, gas and oil into the ground, if he did not want us to harvest it and use it.”

“So, Mr. Pruitt, is replacing those people on the review board who can’t ascribe to that simple, god-given principle, with those who can,” said Light. “You may call it a purge of science and scientists, but we look at it as expunging the heretics.”

“Some of us, who advise Mr. Pruitt, believe that the scientists being removed are fortunate that they are not being burned at the stake,” he said with a winning smile.

“But aren’t you replacing the scientists with members of an industry that has a vested interest in burning fossil fuels?” asked Smokey. “They stand to make tons of money.”

“Earning your daily bread by doing the lord’s work is not a sin,” he concluded, “It’s a great blessing.”

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Stevieslaw: Pure Coincidence

Posted on October 31, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Pure Coincidence

Sarah Huckabee Sanders assured the press today that the permanent relocation of three senior members of the Trump campaign to Bahrain is not connected to the ongoing Mueller investigation.

“There is no way of knowing,” she told the press, “If these are the same officials mentioned in the Papadopoulos indictment, as their names were not released.”

“The Trump family will provide the money for the three individuals and their families, friends and acquaintances to relocate,” she said, “because it is the right thing to do—although, I’m sure some of you will find some sinister motive for it.”

When Smokey Diamond—the intrepid reporter for Stevieslaw—pointed out that Bahrain has no extradition treaty with the United States, Huckabee responded, “even if that is true, it is purely coincidental.”

Huckabee did confirm that the three unnamed officials and anyone who ever, ever had even the slightest contact with them left for Bahrain very early Monday morning.

“They will be extremely busy with the move,” she said, “and I don’t think they will be able to take questions for many years.”

She concluded the interview by admonishing the press for not reporting that Hilary Clinton and her family have a good deal of property overseas. “She is clearly a flight risk,” said Sarah, “and should have her passport revoked.”

“Why aren’t you talking about that?” she said.

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Fata Morgana

Posted on October 29, 2017 by stevieslaw

just in time for Halloween

The Drabble's avatar

mirage-2738136_1280

By Stevieslaw

That’s me I see in the distance,
upheld by an inverted sky
preternaturally twirling and twisting
to the throb of an unwritten psalm.
I float in the sorcerer’s future
a smudge on the frightening sky
spinning faster and faster and faster
till I blink and the mirage is gone.
     
Steve Deutsch writes poetry, and short fiction. His most recent publications have been in Word Fountain, Eclectica Magazine, The Ekphrastic Review, New Verse News, and Misfit Magazine.

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Stevieslaw: Trump Hurls

Posted on October 25, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump Hurls

Cousin Myron—that red-headed insanity, called this morning. For once, he was in a good mood.

“Guess who Jason heard from today,” he asked. Jason is the male half of Myron’s twins.

“Four more Ivy League schools,” I ventured.

“Nope.” “Trump”

“He got a tweet from our President,” said Myron. “It said,” ‘Poor, Jason—what girl would date him with his world class acne. We know why he got into Harvard—it rhymes with “you.”

“That’s not for real,” I suggested.

“Sure is,” said Myron. “About half of Jason’s class got insults. Jill—the female half of the twins, is upset she didn’t get anything yet.”

Later that day, my neighbors stopped by to tell me their five-year old, Bobby, had gotten a call from the President.

Trump told him, “Bobbie is a doodie head that still wets his bed—so sad and so stoopid.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that Trump was planning on reaching out to every man, woman and child in the nation. She noted that almost all, if not all, the messages would be insults.

“That’s who the President is,” she remarked.

When confronted by the press, Sarah said, “What is wrong with you bozos. You’re upset when the President doesn’t reach out and upset when the President does. There is just no pleasing any of you.”

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Stevieslaw: Everything you always wanted to know about the Trump tax cuts but were afraid to ask.

Posted on October 21, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Everything you always wanted to know about the Trump tax cuts but were afraid to ask.

Are you wealthy?

YES: Rejoice!

NO: You are going to get hosed!

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Stevieslaw: It could happen here department

Posted on October 20, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: It could happen here department

Trump Tweets:

6:21 AM. I did not press the red button. If CNN and those other fake news stations say I pressed the red button, they are lying. Fake News.

6:28 AM. And anyway, Obama never gave me the nuclear codes—left with them. Obama did it. Just another case of a former President grandstanding. SAD.

6:34 AM. Where the hell was Uruguay anyway. Nobody knows where it was. Nobody cares. And, the damage wasn’t as bad as all that. Hiroshima was way worse. That was a real bombing.

6:47 AM. I am getting a lot of thanks from all sorts of leaders around the world. Rogue regime. Needed to go. It will cut down bigly on illegal immigration—believe me. Gratitude pouring in– U.N. in joint session. Probably want me to talk.

6:51 AM. If players in the NFL are going to take a knee during the anthem, they should rounded up, put in uniform and sent to Afghanistan. Immediately. Are there no patriots left?

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Stevieslaw: Why no one is home

Posted on October 18, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Why no one is home

In Catch 22, Colonel Cathcart spends every waking hour planning his campaign. The logistical problems are examined with the help of staff—one Colonel Korn to be precise. Sure Cathcart knows there is a war on. And, sure he knows he is in charge of an American bomber group. But all that is insignificant in his push to become a general.

Now, we have learned that a Republican Congressman from Pennsylvania, Tom Marino, helped craft a bill to cripple the DEA’s ability to stop the sale of illegal opiates. We learned that Donald Trump wanted Marino as Drug Czar. Well that’s just business as usual. But, we also learned that the bill passed the House and the Senate unanimously and was signed into law by President Obama.

As a friend might say, “WTF?” Did anyone read the bill? Did anyone check with the DEA. Senators are allowed 34 full and part time staff members, while Congressman are allowed 18 full time and 4 part time staff. What were they up to?

Smokey Diamond was able to get hold of L. Ted Focus, assistant to the assistant Chief of Staff for Senator Toomey.

Mr Focus was quite direct. “No, we didn’t read it,” he said. “We have a re-election campaign to run.”

Ah, that explains it. Or, as a friend might say, once again, “WTF?”

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Stevieslaw: Guest Poem–Closed Casket

Posted on October 17, 2017 by stevieslaw

A poem by my friend, Lisa McMonagle, that just appeared in Eclectica. Enjoy.

Closed Casket

We crowd into line
outside the funeral home,
to pay our respects
to Luke’s mother,
eyelids shut
like the casket lid,
to his father, antsy
indoors, and Luke,
locked inside the casket,
hiding the way he played tag
in his parents’ backyard
at dusk, the adults’
cigarette tips glowing
safety from the porch,
while we snuck
tree trunk to tree trunk,
not knowing where “tag”
might come from, staying
clear of the dark woods,
never imagining death
in an open field
on a sunny July day,
Luke, stacking bales
on the wagon lurching
behind the tractor
his father steered
over the hilly fields.
One deep rut toppled
Luke under the baler,
leaving an evenly spaced
trail of body parts
on the neatly shorn stubble.
The grownups whispered
the story and we strained
to hear, as if it was bedtime
and they were reading
Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

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On Kebler Pass

Posted on October 17, 2017 by stevieslaw

A fine poem by my friend Sarah Russell

Sarah Russell's avatarSarah Russell Poetry

dust the ferns with my ashes —
there, among the aspen
trembling gold against the sky.
Let them settle, sighing,
on the still warm earth of autumn
where the next peak calls your name.

Snow will come. The wind will show me
paths the doe and vixen know. The moon
will call me with her crescent mouth
and share stories of the embered stars.

– Sarah Russell
First published in Poppy Road Review
for Poets United Poetry Pantry
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Stevieslaw: Summer Solstice

Posted on October 16, 2017 by stevieslaw

My poem just appeared in the October/November issue of Eclectica Magazine.  Read the whole issue at Eclectica.com.  My friend and fellow poetry group member, Lisa Mcmonagle, also has a poem (Closed Casket) in the magazine.  Her poem received special recognition.  I will put it up tomorrow

Here is the link to the poetry.

http://www.eclectica.org/v21n4/poetry_list.html

 

Summer Solstice

The last time I passed this way
my mother had smiled
and asked about the old neighborhood,
and I, wanting to please her,
dropped off the highway
and circled the streets of my childhood.
Today, as I turn off the parkway,
I am her age and alone.

The red-brick tenements,
that seemed to have sprouted
from these streets, have long
given way to monoliths
of poured concrete
and cinderblock
warehouses for the poor.
And although the buildings
and the street names have changed,
this place will never be one that
people might aspire to live in.
Yet, I was mostly happy here,
sweating out my summer
days in that schoolyard.
I do not remember when we changed.

As I swing back on the highway,
the streetlights ease on and the shadows,
destined to envelope this timeless place,
do, for one last time, gently fade.
And although the sun
may pause and retrace its steps across the sky,
I will not return to Brooklyn.

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