Stevieslaw: Trump to get National Security Assistance

Posted on May 16, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump to get national security assistance
It has generally been acknowledged that President Donald Trump has been loose-lipped with National Security information—most recently, in disclosing highly classified information to the Russians. Now Chief of Staff, Reince Priebus, has told the press that the President will be helped by two, female, American Short-hair cats. The cats, nicknamed Topsy, and Secret, will attend morning security meetings and will use the information they’ve learned to help steer Trump away from security mishaps.
The cats are trained to snarl if the subject of national security comes up in conversation when it shouldn’t. Should Donald continue the conversation the cats are trained to distract, and if necessary, to bite the President on his ankles or hands.
Mr. Priebus, in making this extraordinary move, simply said, “We have found it easier to get two cats to give a damn about National Security than to try to get the President to pay attention. We are hoping this will help, in the short run, and that none of the inevitable wounds will become infected.”

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Stevieslaw: Sean Spicer to do Calamine Lotion Commercial

Posted on May 12, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw:  Sean Spicer confirmed today that he will be taking some time off to recover from his “hiding behind a bush” episode.  “Not my proudest moment,” he told our reporter Smokey Diamond.  “And it turns out,” Spicey said,  “The bush in question was poison ivy.”

While lesser men might be content with slathering themselves with lotion and trying to find a comfortable spot, Sean has decided to turn his mini vacation into a money making opportunity.  He will do a series of commercial for CVS calamine lotion– for as long as the rash persists.

Many of us would agree with Smokey when she says of the persistence of the  rash, “how about forever.”

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Stevieslaw: My poem “Studio in the Asylum” was published in The Ekphrastic Review today

Posted on May 11, 2017 by stevieslaw

Studio in the Asylum (find the poem at Ekphrastic.net)
Dear Theo:

I am surrounded here
by the painter’s commonplace,
the half- filled canvases
that dot the ochre walls and
those ornaments of still-lifes—
the vases and jars standing
to attention on the sill,
empty of color and purpose.
I feel a tension, as if
a single dazzling orange
would shatter the calm
forever.

I have finished “Studio in the Asylum.”
It is a soothing depiction,
like a setting for a prayer.
Yet, I might well have named the piece
“The window in the wall”–
that brightness that separates
the therapeutic room
from the glory of the garden
and the grounds.
Soon, now
I shall make my way outside.
to paint the olive landscapes
and pasteled huts
and to color
the stars of the night sky.

Yours: Vincent

 

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Stevieslaw: Guest Editorial by James Halliwell (1840s).

Posted on May 11, 2017 by stevieslaw

Thinking about Trump, McConnell and Ryan and the rest of the Republican enablers. The last line is a perfect summary.

There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

 

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Mademoiselle Boissière

Posted on May 11, 2017 by stevieslaw

A fine Ekphrastic poem by my friend Sarah Russell

Sarah Russell's avatarSarah Russell Poetry

Ekphrasis is poetry is based on works of art.  I love this kind of writing.  This poem is based on “Mademoiselle Boissière Knitting” by Gustave Caillebotte.

img_1922

She sits alone
knitting for Sophie’s baby,
expected in the spring.
She doesn’t think of Sophie baring
herself for a man, as she did once,
when roses dizzied her with summer,
how easy her petticoats lifted, how
afterwards they smelled of blood
and sweat, how she stumbled,
pushed the bolt to lock the door,
how those smells return
when she sees him in the square,
squiring his wife on errands
and feels her heart loose
in its stays.

– Sarah Russell
First published in Ekphrastic Review

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Stevieslaw: Who Trump Turned to.

Posted on May 10, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Who Trump Turned to
When Donald Trump first began to contemplate the firing of James Comey he sought the advice of his most trusted advisors. Andrew Jackson, somewhat disingenuously, claimed he had never heard of the FBI, which was formed in 1908. The advice from inside the White House was, as usual, conflicting. Steve Bannon suggested that rather than firing Comey, it would better if he was kidnapped, tortured and garroted, while Jared Kushner thought that some aspect of the family business would certainly be of interest to Comey.
Trump turned to the one man who had been through this type of crisis before—Richard Nixon. It has been reported by Kellyanne Conway and others that Nixon felt that the firing of Comey was a sound idea, provided it was not done on a Saturday night. “You don’t want the media yakking away about a second Saturday Night Massacre,” he said.
In a related story, Senator Mitch McConnell said that the firing of Comey was intended to, and should, put an end to the Russian-Trump investigation. “What part of the word “coup” don’t you understand,” he said with his usual charm.

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Stevieslaw: Crooked Real-estate developer has plans for national parks

Posted on May 8, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Crooked Real-estate developer has plans for National Monuments and Parks

In a recent executive order, Donald Trump—real-estate developer, golfer and president, ordered a review of land designated as “National Monuments,” since 1996, under the Antiquities Act. Now, Interior Secretary, Ryan Zinke has begun a trip to assess whether or not the Utah monuments, including Bears Ears and the Grand Staircase—Escalante National Monuments are appropriately designated.
Critics have said that the designations have impeded development and hurt local economies. Said spokesperson, Sean Spicer, “Donald Trump has come down clearly on the side of the American people on this issue. He would like, above all else to return the monuments and national parks to their rightful owner—Exxon/Mobil.”
Representations of the giant energy conglomerate told our own Smokey Diamond, “We are ready to heed the nation’s call and drill, baby drill.”

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Ravens

Posted on May 7, 2017 by stevieslaw

Wonderful poem by my friend, Sarah Russell.

Sarah Russell's avatarSarah Russell Poetry

The smartest man I know is dying –
cancer, spreading to his bones
and cruelly, to his brain.

“Come look back here,” he says when I visit.
“They knew even before I did.”
Six ravens walk – stately, slow, with purpose –
across his yard, an avian funeral cortège.
“They’ve been here since spring,” he adds.

He points to a corner near the fence.
“That one has a broken wing.
Got it robbing a blue jay’s nest.
Shouldn’t mess with jays, I told her.”

He feeds her raw chicken and steak but says he knows
that soon she’ll ask for death, and he’ll oblige.
“They won’t do the same for me,” he says.
“Fucking do-gooders.”
I don’t know what to say.

“When she’s gone, her fellows will have
a feast of her carcass,” he says without malice,
“just as they will with mine.”
I try to protest, but I know…

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Stevieslaw: Die Already.

Posted on May 5, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Paul Ryan cites simple statistics
In an exclusive interview with our intrepid reporter, Smokey Diamond, Representative Paul Ryan explained that RyanCareLess was the only way to move a stubborn curve.
“If you look at statistics for the Obama Care years,” he said, “It becomes painfully clear that poor people were not dying quickly enough. The trend, in fact, veered significantly from the historical average—more of the poor were living longer,” he provided.
“And although the statistics are a bit less clear here,” he continued, “It seems apparent that they were surviving longer because of better treatment—preventive care, treatment for conditions occurring prior to obtaining healthcare—a grab bag of freebies provided with government assistance, obtained by taxing the wealthy.”
“As any true conservative will tell you,” he said, flashing his award winning smile, “This adds immeasurably to the attraction of being poor in America and promotes the culture of dependency we deplore.”
“The RyanCareLess message is quite clear,” said Ryan. “If you are poor,” he concluded, “Die already.”

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Stevieslaw: Dishonest mogul seeks to stiff employees

Posted on May 3, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Unstable Real-estate mogul seeks to stiff employees
A distinguishing characteristic of Donald Trump’s real estate empire was its proclivity for not paying its employees and contractors. Now, President Donald Trump—who suggested yesterday that the U.S. government needed to be shutdown, is threatening to bring that fine tradition to government employees. Approximately 1.4 million people work for the U.S. government and should that government shut down, there is no guarantee that they will be paid.
Trump tweeted, “People get too comfortable knowing they will be paid for their work,” and “a few lost paychecks will keep them on their toes.”
The last government shutdown cost the country about 2 billion dollars. Sean Spicer said today, “I am pretty sure that Mr. Trump has no intention of picking up the tab.”

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