Thinking about Trump, McConnell and Ryan and the rest of the Republican enablers. The last line is a perfect summary.
There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
A fine Ekphrastic poem by my friend Sarah Russell
Ekphrasis is poetry is based on works of art. I love this kind of writing. This poem is based on “Mademoiselle Boissière Knitting” by Gustave Caillebotte.
She sits alone
knitting for Sophie’s baby,
expected in the spring.
She doesn’t think of Sophie baring
herself for a man, as she did once,
when roses dizzied her with summer,
how easy her petticoats lifted, how
afterwards they smelled of blood
and sweat, how she stumbled,
pushed the bolt to lock the door,
how those smells return
when she sees him in the square,
squiring his wife on errands
and feels her heart loose
in its stays.
– Sarah Russell
First published in Ekphrastic Review
Stevieslaw: Who Trump Turned to
When Donald Trump first began to contemplate the firing of James Comey he sought the advice of his most trusted advisors. Andrew Jackson, somewhat disingenuously, claimed he had never heard of the FBI, which was formed in 1908. The advice from inside the White House was, as usual, conflicting. Steve Bannon suggested that rather than firing Comey, it would better if he was kidnapped, tortured and garroted, while Jared Kushner thought that some aspect of the family business would certainly be of interest to Comey.
Trump turned to the one man who had been through this type of crisis before—Richard Nixon. It has been reported by Kellyanne Conway and others that Nixon felt that the firing of Comey was a sound idea, provided it was not done on a Saturday night. “You don’t want the media yakking away about a second Saturday Night Massacre,” he said.
In a related story, Senator Mitch McConnell said that the firing of Comey was intended to, and should, put an end to the Russian-Trump investigation. “What part of the word “coup” don’t you understand,” he said with his usual charm.
Stevieslaw: Crooked Real-estate developer has plans for National Monuments and Parks
In a recent executive order, Donald Trump—real-estate developer, golfer and president, ordered a review of land designated as “National Monuments,” since 1996, under the Antiquities Act. Now, Interior Secretary, Ryan Zinke has begun a trip to assess whether or not the Utah monuments, including Bears Ears and the Grand Staircase—Escalante National Monuments are appropriately designated.
Critics have said that the designations have impeded development and hurt local economies. Said spokesperson, Sean Spicer, “Donald Trump has come down clearly on the side of the American people on this issue. He would like, above all else to return the monuments and national parks to their rightful owner—Exxon/Mobil.”
Representations of the giant energy conglomerate told our own Smokey Diamond, “We are ready to heed the nation’s call and drill, baby drill.”
Wonderful poem by my friend, Sarah Russell.
The smartest man I know is dying –
cancer, spreading to his bones
and cruelly, to his brain.
“Come look back here,” he says when I visit.
“They knew even before I did.”
Six ravens walk – stately, slow, with purpose –
across his yard, an avian funeral cortège.
“They’ve been here since spring,” he adds.
He points to a corner near the fence.
“That one has a broken wing.
Got it robbing a blue jay’s nest.
Shouldn’t mess with jays, I told her.”
He feeds her raw chicken and steak but says he knows
that soon she’ll ask for death, and he’ll oblige.
“They won’t do the same for me,” he says.
“Fucking do-gooders.”
I don’t know what to say.
“When she’s gone, her fellows will have
a feast of her carcass,” he says without malice,
“just as they will with mine.”
I try to protest, but I know…
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Stevieslaw: Paul Ryan cites simple statistics
In an exclusive interview with our intrepid reporter, Smokey Diamond, Representative Paul Ryan explained that RyanCareLess was the only way to move a stubborn curve.
“If you look at statistics for the Obama Care years,” he said, “It becomes painfully clear that poor people were not dying quickly enough. The trend, in fact, veered significantly from the historical average—more of the poor were living longer,” he provided.
“And although the statistics are a bit less clear here,” he continued, “It seems apparent that they were surviving longer because of better treatment—preventive care, treatment for conditions occurring prior to obtaining healthcare—a grab bag of freebies provided with government assistance, obtained by taxing the wealthy.”
“As any true conservative will tell you,” he said, flashing his award winning smile, “This adds immeasurably to the attraction of being poor in America and promotes the culture of dependency we deplore.”
“The RyanCareLess message is quite clear,” said Ryan. “If you are poor,” he concluded, “Die already.”
Stevieslaw: Unstable Real-estate mogul seeks to stiff employees
A distinguishing characteristic of Donald Trump’s real estate empire was its proclivity for not paying its employees and contractors. Now, President Donald Trump—who suggested yesterday that the U.S. government needed to be shutdown, is threatening to bring that fine tradition to government employees. Approximately 1.4 million people work for the U.S. government and should that government shut down, there is no guarantee that they will be paid.
Trump tweeted, “People get too comfortable knowing they will be paid for their work,” and “a few lost paychecks will keep them on their toes.”
The last government shutdown cost the country about 2 billion dollars. Sean Spicer said today, “I am pretty sure that Mr. Trump has no intention of picking up the tab.”
Stevieslaw: Trump to fill gap in nation’s history
President Donald Trump tweeted early this morning that “there is no history of the civil war ever written—sad,” and vowed to fill in that embarrassing gap. Presidential spokesperson, Sean Spicer, resplendent in an authentic confederate battle uniform, informed the nation that the president would co-author a book about the Civil War with his friends Andrew Jackson and Frederick Douglass.
“Others will step forward to help,” Spicey assured the press. “For example,” he continued, “We are hoping to land Stonewall Jackson for battlefield color and Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lincoln for political analysis. No less an authority than Jeff Sessions, has agreed to write a section on the universal benefits of slavery.”
Rupert Murdoch has agreed to serialize and publish the book, which he envisions in an advanced “coloring book” format. “They are the hottest thing now,” said Murdoch, “and man will they ever sell.”
Trump told the nation, via tweet that “writing this important book will not impair my ability to president” and “after 100 days, I have the routine down—I can do it in my sleep.” Trump said he would write the books on weekends at his resort at Mar a Lago. “Only rainy weekends,” he was quick to clarify.
Sean Spicer concluded by pointing out that writing the definitive civil war history at Mar a Lago was hugely symbolic, because “as everyone knows, all the major battles of the war took place within ten or fifteen miles of the golf course—which is practically paved in spent cannon balls.”
Stevieslaw: Trump praised by world community
U.N. Secretary General, Antonio Guterres, today issued a Formal Commendation of Donald Trump. The Commendation read, “It’s been a hundred days and that moron (Donald Trump) has somehow avoided getting us all killed.” “Splendid.”
Such sentiments were echoed all over the world. Angela Merkel, of Germany, said, “He may be too stupid and self-indulgent to cause any lasting damage—at least, that is the hope of the world.” Justin Trudeau, of Canada, also weighed in, saying, “After meeting with him, I expected that we would all be crisps by now.” “What amazing good fortune,”he continued, “although, I do wish he’d put a stop to Ivanka ringing me up every five minutes.”
Even Mr. Trump’s sworn adversaries had good things to say of him. Said, Kim Jong-un of North Korea, “The man knows how to defuse a crisis.” “When in doubt, send your aircraft carrier task force in the wrong direction.” Said Vladimir Putin, “He is getting better at following simple directions.”
Not everyone is hopeful for the next one hundred days. Our own intrepid reporter, Smokey Diamond, continues to build and supply her fall out shelter. She has already laid in enough canned tuna, catnip and coffee beans to last a millennium. Says Smokey, “I don’t understand why more people aren’t digging.” “It’s not if, but when people.”
Mark is a member of my poetry group.
Mark Shirey grapples with both unrequited love and cultural norms in this sensitive, introspective poem. Mark is a member of my poetry workshop group which has met every other Saturday morning for 3 1/2 years.
I bought her a graduation gift at the Art Museum store –
a long, gold necklace that would glow on her brown skin
and follow her neck in graceful twirling arcs.
I wished the nights in the computer lab would never end,
spent with my beautiful Indian dancing friend.
When she went to India on a semester break, I looked at the moon
and thought no two people had ever been farther apart.
When she and her lily-white beau took a break, she was mine for a week.
When they got back together, she’d return to my mind forever.
I put the wrapped box on the table with other gifts.
Among the guests, saris and…
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Stevie's Law 