Nesting

Posted on June 3, 2017 by stevieslaw

Another from mr friend Sarah Russell.–a fine poet.

Sarah Russell's avatarSarah Russell Poetry

The finches are courting
outside our window, a warbled
discussion of real estate and love.
Like last year and the year before,
they want to lease the flower wreath
on our front door. It’s always a dilemma:
discourage their rapture or detour
through the garage?

The finches always win. So
for a month we’ll wake to overtures
at dawn – so cheerful, so loud –
show pictures of pin-feathered babies
to friends, recall demands
and pleasures of our own brood,
the bittersweet fledging.

– Sarah Russell
First published by Your Daily Poem
The photo is of their nest last year.

Thought this was apropos since Mr. and Mrs. Finch are back and are quite excited about our new wreath this year.  They were both tucked into a niche behind the blossoms, discussing the furnishings when I opened the door this morning.  The nest was almost complete this afternoon.  Can’t deny…

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Stevieslaw: Seismic activity rocks Quincy, Massachusetts

Posted on June 3, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Seismic activity rocks Quincy Massachusetts
Residents of Quincy were awakened last night by an earthquake that measured nearly 5.5 on the Richter Scale. The earthquake continues and is accompanied by a sound of muffled moaning.
MIT scientists we’re initially baffled by the seismic signal as it seemed oddly periodic. Dr. Abe D. Hope said, “We have tracked the origin of the quake to the gravesite of John Adams. Clearly, President Adams is rolling over and over in his grave while screaming “no, no—who put an orange headed monster in my house.”
We were reminded today by Writer’s Almanac that John Adams, the first resident of the White House, wrote to his wife Abigail after his first night there:
I pray heaven to bestow the best of blessings on this house and on all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.”
Reports of quakes near other Presidential burial sites have been drifting in all night.
A good night’s sleep seems unlikely for much of the nation.

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Stevieslaw: The Meaning of Trump’s Covfefe

Posted on May 31, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump’s Covfefe
Contrary to Donald Trump’s assertion, covfefe was not the first word invented or promoted by a President, nor is it likely to be the most bigly or huge ever. Harding gave us “normalcy,” Lincoln “Michigander,” Washington “moment” and “out of the way” and Jefferson “belittle.”
But the hidden meaning of Presidential doodles, meanders and mistakes has been the lifelong work of Library of Congress researcher, Dr. James Dictionnaire. Dr. D. as he is called by his colleagues and friends told our own Smokey Diamond that “there is a rich history of Presidential doodles having significant, though hidden, meaning. Often in fact, the typo or doodle has meaning in a foreign language—one that the doodler is not familiar with.”
“For example,” he continued, “Lincoln gave us “freedom” scribbled in nearly perfect Esperanto on the edge of the Gettysburg Address. Franklin Roosevelt had “security” in Turkish, Medieval Hungarian, and Finnish on his desk blotter.” A Nixon typo had “I am a crook” spelled out perfectly in Portuguese, while John Kennedy had “peace” written in fourteen languages—some ancient– in typed notes to his brother Bobby during the Cuban Missile Crisis.”
“And covfefe,” asked Smokey?
“Ah, that was a hard one,” admitted Dr. D. “But after years and years of tracking these words and expressions down, I was able to find it.” It means “I am an empty-headed moron” in the language of Atlantis.”
“High five,” said Smokey with a grin.

 

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Stevieslaw: Kushie saves the day.

Posted on May 28, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Kushie Saves the Day
Air Force One was already in the air when the President’s party found out that the Air Force Marching Band would be unable to play at Trump’s arrival because they had to practice for their performance at the Army-Navy game next February. Jared Kushner sprang into action. Using his deep contacts in the contemporary music scene, Jared was able to line up The Liverpool Legends, a Beatles tribute band, to play at the President’s arrival home.
The band began to play as the President’s plane taxied to its hangar. They timed the performance perfectly and began to play the Beatle’s hit from the White Album, “Back in the U.S.S.R” just at Mr Trump exited the plane. Chief son-in-law Kushner was so taken by the song that he grabbed a mike and sang along to the last stanza:
Show me round your snow peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy’s farm
Let me hear your balalaika’s ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm.
I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
You don’t know how lucky you are boys
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Senator, John McCain, said of the arrival and the performance, “I am truly horrified.”

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Stevieslaw: Poetic Justice

Posted on May 24, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Poetic Justice
My brother Barry, a New York City transplant, spent more than half his life in Florida. Not much went right for him down there, so I was surprised to learn in a 2008 phone call that he was not voting for Barack Obama. “Obama is going to redistribute the wealth,” he told me, with what I assume was a straight face. I reminded him gently that he hadn’t had two nickels to rub together in the last ten years or so—redistribution of wealth, even if a pipe dream, had to be good for him.
I chalked it up to the influence of the Florida sun on New York transplants. Some of them pickle in the sun and end up out-red-necking the rednecks.
Which brings me to the Trump budget, which will benefit the filthy rich while depriving the rest of us with what we need to keep it together. If you’re a rust belt voter—Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Michigan for example, you can bet your last dollar that the programs that are barely keeping your area from sinking into irredeemable poverty and despair are slated to be cut to nothing. Trump is coming for the little you’ve got.
Well, you busted it all up and made sure a woman wouldn’t serve as President, yet it stills seems a shame that you won’t ever have the wherewithal to visit that splendid wall on the U.S./Mexican border, paid for by the money that once bought your child a good, hot lunch at school.
What were you thinking?

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Stevieslaw: Trump to Extend Trip

Posted on May 22, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump to Extend Trip

Congressional Republicans have been feverishly working behind the scenes to extend President Trump’s overseas junket to more nations. In a joint news statement this morning, House leader Paul Ryan and Senate leader Mitch McConnell stated, “Working together with Rex Tillerson and the professionals at State, we were able to put together an extension of the President’s historic trip. Mr. Trump is now scheduled to visit all 196 countries in the world (including Taiwan).”
“For some of the poorer nations,” said Ryan, “The U.S. has agreed to build or extend airport runways to accommodate Air Force 1. We will also be taking reasonable precautions when the President is in a nation in the throes of a civil war, or an outbreak of one of many plagues. We are particularly concerned that the communication facilities are rudimentary in many of these nations.”
“Yes.” “Despite all our advanced work,” saId Mitch McConnell flashing his famous smile, “There may be times when the President is incommunicado for weeks and months at a time. We are encouraging the entire American News Media to travel with the President, to record this historical first for posterity.” said Ryan. “We will find a way to fund it.
“The President is scheduled to return to the United States some time in the evening on the 21st of January 2021,” continued Mr. McConnell.
“Sadly,” said Ryan, “We won’t have the time to send the President on a fact finding trip to Mars.” “Unless he is reelected,” concluded McConnell.

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Stevieslaw: Orangy Felon to Flee

Posted on May 17, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Orangy Felon to Flee
The Washington-post reported today that President Trump is using his upcoming international tour as a smokescreen for his real intent—to flee the United States before he is indicted. His first stop, Saudi Arabia, will also be his final destination. The Saudi’s do not have an extradition treaty with the United States. Trump will easily be able to move his real-estate empire to Saudi Arabia and he finds its male dominant culture fits perfectly with his lifestyle and beliefs. The Post reports that Trump will convert to Islam at the airport upon landing. Trump is quoted as saying, “They guaranteed that I wouldn’t need to be circumcised.”
Public sentiment in the United States has been running at a fever pace. Hallmark stock has more than doubled on the strength of their “Good Riddance you Asshole,” bon voyage card. Sale of the cards surpassed the hundred million mark within hours of the press release. Hallmark is concerned, however, that their “And take that awful schmuck Pence with you” card will not reach the market in time.
The Justice Department is planning a thorough investigation—possibly as early as 2050. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell said that they will hold hearing on Trump’s flight if and when they can find the time.

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Stevieslaw: Trump to get National Security Assistance

Posted on May 16, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Trump to get national security assistance
It has generally been acknowledged that President Donald Trump has been loose-lipped with National Security information—most recently, in disclosing highly classified information to the Russians. Now Chief of Staff, Reince Priebus, has told the press that the President will be helped by two, female, American Short-hair cats. The cats, nicknamed Topsy, and Secret, will attend morning security meetings and will use the information they’ve learned to help steer Trump away from security mishaps.
The cats are trained to snarl if the subject of national security comes up in conversation when it shouldn’t. Should Donald continue the conversation the cats are trained to distract, and if necessary, to bite the President on his ankles or hands.
Mr. Priebus, in making this extraordinary move, simply said, “We have found it easier to get two cats to give a damn about National Security than to try to get the President to pay attention. We are hoping this will help, in the short run, and that none of the inevitable wounds will become infected.”

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Stevieslaw: Sean Spicer to do Calamine Lotion Commercial

Posted on May 12, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw:  Sean Spicer confirmed today that he will be taking some time off to recover from his “hiding behind a bush” episode.  “Not my proudest moment,” he told our reporter Smokey Diamond.  “And it turns out,” Spicey said,  “The bush in question was poison ivy.”

While lesser men might be content with slathering themselves with lotion and trying to find a comfortable spot, Sean has decided to turn his mini vacation into a money making opportunity.  He will do a series of commercial for CVS calamine lotion– for as long as the rash persists.

Many of us would agree with Smokey when she says of the persistence of the  rash, “how about forever.”

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Stevieslaw: My poem “Studio in the Asylum” was published in The Ekphrastic Review today

Posted on May 11, 2017 by stevieslaw

Studio in the Asylum (find the poem at Ekphrastic.net)
Dear Theo:

I am surrounded here
by the painter’s commonplace,
the half- filled canvases
that dot the ochre walls and
those ornaments of still-lifes—
the vases and jars standing
to attention on the sill,
empty of color and purpose.
I feel a tension, as if
a single dazzling orange
would shatter the calm
forever.

I have finished “Studio in the Asylum.”
It is a soothing depiction,
like a setting for a prayer.
Yet, I might well have named the piece
“The window in the wall”–
that brightness that separates
the therapeutic room
from the glory of the garden
and the grounds.
Soon, now
I shall make my way outside.
to paint the olive landscapes
and pasteled huts
and to color
the stars of the night sky.

Yours: Vincent

 

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